May 5 & 6 Weekend UPDATED

   It’s a slow one for the Capital this weekend. The weather is supposed to be beautiful so you should hit the dog parks, any of the trails, or stroll the canal. However, if you crave a little structure to your weekend shenanigans, see below for the weekend line-up.

Friday

The Canadian Tulip Festival

   It’s the 60^th Annual Canadian Tulip Festival — Commemorative Edition!

The significant other in my life told me that, long ago, there was a Dutch princess who came to visit Canada even though she was in the family way. While being undoubtedly impressed by our awesome snow forts and wicked-ass wild animals her dutch oven started a-rumblin’ and she had to be rushed to the birthing arena.

   Everyone knows that any Dutch prince worthy of his wooden shoes shouldn’t be born on Canuck land so Canada graciously declared the area around the birth Netherland land.

   As a token of thanks, the Dutch people gave the Capital a million tulips and we cherish them to this day.

 There is not a single stitch of evidence on the official website to back this story up.    

Keep smiling, jerk. I’ve earnestly repeated your fib dozens of times like an ass.

    The tulips are a symbol of friendship between our two nations but they’re for our role in liberating the Dutch in World War II.

   There are tons of events, local artists, and performances to support during the celebration. It’s a beautiful time to explore the city.

Everywhere! Especially the Market, Chinatown, and Little Italy. www.tulipfestival.ca 

UPDATE An indignant text from the humourless boyfriend leads to this. You win this round. Again. Sort of.

Saturday

Urban Craft – Ottawa’s Monthly Market

    I feel differently about this craft sale. Honestly. This one looks like there are authentic craftsmen with original wares. Get excited!

   Urban Craft is the first and only monthly (MONTHLY) craft market. Starting this Saturday, the first Saturday of each month will host this show.
It’s in Hintonburg — the hippest neighborhood in Ottawa. This is not disputable.
Look at all that’s available! :

• Gourmet, local, vegan & artisanal food
• Modern accessories
• Handmade goodies for kids
• Natural bath & body products
• Modern & recycled jewelry
• Modern decor for your home

   This is going to be so awesome.
The GCTC, 1223 Wellington Street West. Free admission. Saturdays 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.
http://www.urbancraftmarket.com

Season Opener - Ottawa's Capital City Derby Dolls

   The Dolly Rogers will be facing off against Quebec’s Les Duchesses in the opening match for Capital City Derby Dolls in their second season. This will be the teams’ first match against each other. 

   I came down with a case of the vapours (rum coma) while watching Whip It so I’m not certain  what this roller derbying is all about. Knee pads, helmets, badass ladies all seem to be key ingredients. Hopefully gratuitous cursing, as well.

   Beau’s beer is sponsoring!

   Duty calls at the homestead so this event will be reviewed by creative spirit and fellow writer, Kristen Nelson.

 
   I’m very excited for Ottawa This Weekend’s first guest blog!

Jack Charron Arena (Kanata…ew), 10 McKitrick Drive. $7.00 in advance, $10.0 at the door. 7 p.m.

http://www.facebook.com/CapitalCityDerbyDolls