OTW is out of town!

OTW is off to Vancouver!

   I was going to make a post about the happenings in Vancouver. 

   I was even prepared to make a joke about a cougar and an older sex-lady who likes younger men.

early sketches of comedy gold

   However, it turns out that it's hard to write about the hip places in town when you've never been there.

   Also Vancouver is more dangerous than any of us ever thought... which is a distracting thought.

    A 1991 study showed that the highest proportion of cougar attacks have occurred in British Columbia, particularly on Vancouver Island where cougar populations are especially dense. 

      “Oh, Dana — Vancouver is so great; you'll probably not die at all.” Nice try, friends.

   Much like bears, your best chance at survival is to pretend to be bigger, speak loudly and calmly, and maintain intense eye-contact. However, do not play dead and do not poo yourself (it's a pungent sign that you're afraid). Don't run, either; these assholes love a good chase.

   To survive an orca encounter, stay out of the ocean. Being in it is completely avoidable and unnecessary.     The ocean is big and everything in it will kill you.

Look at your legs. Are they attached to each other and come to a wonderful fan at the bottom? No? Then go find your local community pool.

There is also a nude beach. So...

early sketches of a bad "beached-whale" joke