This weekend I met up with a friend
from college to wander around the city to see what we could see.
We went down to the Market where
something NFL themed was going on. We watched children pathetically
throw footballs through tires and they were awful at it.
I looked for the giant pumpkin but
didn't see it which means it clearly wasn't big enough.
Another thing
that's happening is that my friend, Dustin, is moving Out West to be a cowboy or an oil tycoon or a Chinese immigrant or something. In doing so, he's leaving behind this wittle orange
kitty, Minnie.
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Minnie is a
furry little beer-swilling dumpling of complicated emotions. She is
definitely on the spectrum. She avoids eye contact, doesn't want to sustain a cuddle, and is incredibly
non-verbal. Also, it's probably unrelated but she might also have a
mild case of micrognathia.
Right now, she's
living with Dustin's roommates and is reportedly happy. However, the
big move Out West presents a need for Minnie to have a home with
regular and present guardians and maybe a friend to hang out
with...
I propose:
His
name is Biggie and her name is Minnie. It's fate.
They've met tons of times and it always goes really well.
They're
like a fuzzier and more idiotic version of Milo and Otis. Who
in their right mind would pass up that opportunity for a pairing?
Fools would.
It's true that Dustin has already raised a cat with my friend Jessica and so has hastily decided that she would be a good choice to take care of Minnie.
I
want to destroy her.
Jess is awesome but I will besmirch her character and throw her under every bus until that cat is mine.
I've already started spreading little white lies around the cat-community to undermine her capabilities as a suitable cat-owner:
“I once saw her pull on her cat's
tail for no reason.”
“She
drove her last cat to the brink of cat-madness.”
and
“She once
strangled a cat.”
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| the cat community is also the knitting community |
The
whole project is incredibly time-consuming.
#TeamMiggie
