Wednesday, June 13, 2012

June 9 & 10 Review



   In the spirit that inspires this blog I went to one of the events from this past weekend. I give Westfest six out of seven damn-we-should-have-left-earliers.

    The weather was fantastic this weekend. It was so beautiful it was paralyzing. There are so many things to do on a day when you’re completely unencumbered by shitty weather patterns. One might find all of the opportunities for fun overwhelming and become unable to prioritize which activities would be more gratifying and end up doing nothing at all.


    This phenomenon had me showing up at Westfest long after the street performers (read: hippies) were actually done doing things and most of the crowd had migrated to the main stage. I piddled away most of the day listlessly draping myself over cool surfaces and letting the dog lick ice cubes out of my hand.
inscrutable power dynamics at the Ottawa This Weekend household

    The boyfriend and I headed straight to the main stage when we arrived on the off-chance that Steven Page would step out at exactly that moment. When he didn’t, we wove through the crowd of people and found the Stone Soup Foodworks’ food truck. I ordered their homemade lemon grass and lime soda (HOMEMADE!) which was so effing delicious that it almost made me swear in this sentence. I also had their vegan nacho/taco thing. The nacho/taco bit was round, flat, and soft and forced me to eat the food like a burrito.

don't be ridiculous.

    There were black beans, cilantro, jalapenos, and maybe something else. I dropped most of it down my shirt while trying to get as much into my mouth as I could manage in one go.

    After a quick tour around where the festival was during the day we ended up back at the main stage just in time to hear Steven Page play. He had a cellist playing alongside him and it was magical. I can’t wait to get my hands on his new album.
I really wonder how he keeps inspired after all these years..

 
come on...

    When I was about four-years-old, I was at a friend’s house (who is a little older than me and had cable t.v.) when a Barenaked Ladies’ music video came on. We listened exclusively to country music at our house so I was unfamiliar with the band.

    When I arrived home, my mom asked me what we got up to at my friend’s house:


    My mother was perturbed and my friend had to spend several minutes on the phone desperately trying to explain that the video was of a folky pop band and not an innocence-ruining display of free spirited nudity.

   On Sunday, I met some friends at Cornerstone Bar and Grill where I had the hands-down best apple crumble I have ever tasted.  

   Don’t even stay for real food (the servers are too bitchy for an extended stay). Get in, get crumble, get out. Perfect.

   After lunch, we stopped to watch a man take pictures of his parrots with people who were willing to pay. I, obviously, passed over such a cheap ploy for tourist dollars

nope.

   I don’t have the best of luck with exotic animals. I love them so much and they just want to defend themselves against me. As the man started loading his cigarette-smelling birds onto my body they started to get a little pecky. The one that was quirkily placed on my head started to pull out my hair. The man moved it to my arm where it promptly pulled down my neckline to bite at my bra strap. 
Two leering homeless men made fun of me. 





   p.s. These assholes are back. 



8 comments:

  1. Re: apple crumble. You're welcome! ;)

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    1. I will never question your judgement again. Unless, of course, you happen to be wearing that shirt you wore yesterday. yeeesh ;)

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  2. This reader knows that Ottawa this Weekend author used to collect shad flies by the dozens— calling them her tiny friends with wings. What happened I wonder to this magical relationship?

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    1. Haha! You're blowing up my spot! No one can know I used to be their comrade.

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  3. The power dynamics drawing above could not be more accurate. Biggie Rules! :)

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    1. Hahaha! He certainly does. Elliott and I are lowly jesters.

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  4. Oh my God, what are shad flies? That aside, I'm charmed us usual by your rating systems and had the same experience years ago trying to explain a Barenaked Ladies videos I'd seen to a friend. Except that I wasn't a kid, the friend was a church member, and I was his pastor. Good times!

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    1. Are you telling me that you don't have Shad Flies out west? If this is so I can no longer think of a reason not to live there.
      They're disgusting insects that start out as wiggly, slimy little jerks that crawl on you while you swim. One day, they crawl onto a rock, dry out, sprout some wings, cover every flat surface within 100 yards of the lake, and die 12 hours later.
      When you pass under a street light at night you can hear their air sacs popping by the thousands under your tires.
      Awful, tragic creatures.

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